Is the mindset and goal “To get the sex?” right? No. To make her feel enough comfortable with you to have sex (intimacy) – yes, that’s the right mindset and goal, which is called sexual escalation. Why?
Read the following story that one Jewish girl told me: “…He was a teacher. He looked very normal. After a few drinks we went to play pool at then to his apartment. After the door closed, he pushed me against the wall and tried to kiss me. He scared shit out of me! I run away from that apartment and I got hurt. I started to hate, distrust men. This accident hurt me a lot…”
The problem is that nobody taught that guy about sexual escalation on the date. That is why he did a big trauma both – to her and to himself.
So what is a sexual escalation and what it covers?
1. Simple touch (first touch when you touch her);
2. Teaching her something (exercises at the gym, salsa / bachata dancing steps);
3. Sharing a drink (share the same bottle of water, mix, beer or any other drink. You give her to drink your drink and she gives you to drink her drink);
4. Leading by giving suggestions where you and she could go or do (For example: “Is it OK if we go to the place x? How do you feel about that?”) By asking similar questions you show empathy. If she is not ready yet to go there, it means you need to spend more time with her or maybe YOU JUST DO NOT CLICK TO EACH OTHER. It’s because you cannot have chemistry with each and every girl. Often on the date you’re going to feel you just don’t click to each other and that’s it. She is not your person and she is not interested in you;
5. Taking her hand, hugging her, putting your hands around her hips. If a chemistry between both of you is OK, it should happen. Even if you just take her to the park, play so cool music or teach her some basic steps of salsa / bachata. Or can you take her to the shop, by so drawing paint and take her home and to teach her how to draw a paint;
6. “Are you OK if I kiss you?” Ask this question confidently but politely hers permission to start make out with her. If she’s is going to sense that you have a high level of empathy on how she feels and more over – you care how she feels, 95% she is going to feel confident and ready to open herself to you for physical intimacy.
Sexual escalation is hard to learn without teacher, who shows you how to do it in a right way. 95% of fathers are not comfortable to talk to their sons about how to escalate with a girl. Here in alphamantraining.com we offer opportunity to see video, which explain how to escalate on a date. Also Alphamantraining.com Coach can go together with you on your first date with a girl and maybe you will meet your person.